You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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