I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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