1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
