It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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