so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
