I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
smell my finger.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
