I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
