are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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