Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
