What a fucking waste of an outfit
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
