Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
