Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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