I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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