worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
