My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
