Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
