A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
