those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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