Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
