After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
