I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
