I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
