I'm drive I can fine osifer
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
