69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
