Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
