She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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