so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
