everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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