why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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