This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
