Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
