So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
