just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
