omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
