when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
