you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
