help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
