I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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