Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
