Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
