you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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