I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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