4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I need help removing her.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
