No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
