I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
