well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
