just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
