with your own penis?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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