she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
