Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
