dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
