I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
